p-a-r-t-y

hello.
i wrote a story for the new issue of delinquent magazine. it's called 'quiet party' and it involves drunk kidz.
you can buy the magazine by clicking the picture below. it's also available as a download, for fans of the future. do it please.

panda

I really am sorry that I asked you
To steal a panda.
In all honesty I didn’t expect you to do it.
I was trying to be funny and now
I can barely move around my house because
I am trying to avoid awkward eye contact
With this animal that I have only just met.
I have read books about pandas before
When I was thirteen
And I know two things about them:
They spend most of their lives alone.
They do not hibernate.
I also know that you have been alone
For a very long time
Which is something that makes me stay up late
most nights.
I promise I am going to take care of this panda.
I’ll fill all of my cupboards with bamboo
I’ll paint my face to make it feel comfortable and
If things get too much maybe
We can hibernate while the panda watches over us.

you won't keep a keepsake just for the sake of it

When you were a child your favourite toy was a red dog.
I know this because
You have told me about it before
And I know this because
I have asked you to tell me about it now.
Your red dog went with you everywhere
Visited grandparents, met new friends, ate dinner
And each night you fell asleep with its tattered fur and loose eye
Pressed against your cheek.
This dog
Loyal and brave
Made you feel like you could do anything
More so than those tired singers
Those lazy boyfriends
Those boring films.
You felt invincible then and
I have asked you to tell me about this again because
I want to make you feel invincible now
But I am leaving tomorrow and anyway
Despite my tattered skin and beady eyes
I know that I am not your red dog.

sunday slump society

I wrote a story called 'Sunday Slump Society' for Delinquent Magazine, which came out last week. The story is pretty disgusting (lots of bodily fluids and theft), so if you're in to that sort of thing that could be good. Anyway, you can buy the magazine by clicking on the picture below - it's also available as a pdf download, because we live in the future now and physical books are so 1987.

Steps

If
Right now
You decide that
You’re going to leave
It will not hurt too much.
That’s not just me being mean
It’s just that, honestly, I know that I
Could easily retrace the steps that led me
From the mess of my bedroom to your front door.
And when I arrive I will make my way back up the stairs
Past the lilac bathroom and the photographs of smiling friends.
I will crawl next to you while you dream of snakes and trees and hair
And I will hope that when you wake up you won’t remember the awful lies
That I have been telling you and we will just eat breakfast in comfortable silence.

More Sleep

You know how I wrote a little while ago that I was going to make music again? Well, I got carried away and ended up making an album (does 8 songs count as an album?). It's called More Sleep and hopefully you might like it. There are twiddly guitars and synths and samples, which are good if you're into that sort of thing. You can hear it by clicking the picture below:

Also if you like it (or even if you don't, I'm willing to settle for sympathy) please show your friends and people you don't even like. It would be nice if more than 15 people heard this, ya dig?

20x20

hello. hi. i wrote a story about ally sheedy for the new issue of 20x20 magazine. the magazine came through my letterbox today and it's lovely. you should buy one - http://www.20x20magazine.com/shop/

splash some cash you jag.